Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
