the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
