Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
