when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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