I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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