I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
