Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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