I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
