worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
