Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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