hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
