there's paper in my vomit.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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