im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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