hotel room ftw
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize