I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
