Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
