I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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