with your own penis?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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