If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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