She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
