One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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