Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize