would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
