your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
