There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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