my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
