You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize