now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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