who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
