The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
