final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
