In the future we'll all be gay
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
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Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
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I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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