Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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