I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
