so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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