Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize