I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize