I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize