I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
sex in a hospital.. check
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
