Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
