He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
