turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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