But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
