She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
