Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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