Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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