im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
