you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
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it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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