i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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