Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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