Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Two words: blizzard sex
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
