I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
