I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
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whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
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As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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