okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
