So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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