i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We are all done wearing pants today
i believe in u and ur pee
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