so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
