I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
