I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
