the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
