matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize