I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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